Silent Library with the Glee Boys
by SKG53
Summary: Set in season 2. The boys have taken it upon themselves to raise the money to get Glee to New York. A game show happens to be filming near Lima. Hijinks ensue as the boys compete in insane challenges, all while having to remain silent. But will their teammates be able to resist laughing or lead them to failure?
1. Before the Show

The boys stood outside the door, waiting to make their designated entrance, but they were quickly getting impatient. They'd been in the waiting area for a solid half hour and in this hallway for the last 10 minutes. They thought TV people would be quick and on time but that was certainly proving false. The McKinley theater kids could have set up faster.

"Why am I even here?" Karofsky muttered as he slouched, arms folded, against the wall. He was mostly speaking to himself, but he was loud enough that his gripe could be heard. He was extremely uncomfortable around the other teens. This is how he was supposed to act. Or how he was expected to act. He wasn't sure which. "I'm not friends with you guys."

"Shove it, Karofsky, you know why," Puck growled. He was in much the same position on the opposite wall. "We needed 6 guys, and you owe the Glee club after what you did to Kurt. Besides," he added, bending his knee and pressing the sole of his foot against the wall. He leaned his head back against the wall, as if exhaling cigarette smoke, "Artie couldn't do it because the show didn't want to injure a kid in a wheelchair."

"Yeah, and we don't know many other people. This is all we really have to work with." Mike added nonchalantly. "Because, from what I've seen, the show only uses teams of all girls or all guys. If we used a girl team, we would definitely lose. Mercedes and Tina can't stop laughing to save their lives. Not to mention how loud they are." All the glee kids nodded in agreement.

Karofsky looked ready to say something else, along the lines of how that wasn't his problem, but a bored looking Kurt, arms akimbo, cut him off without looking at him. "I still don't see why we had to ask Karofsky. It didn't _have_ to be someone from school. I bet Blaine would have done it," he added, with a love struck look that made the other boys gag. They were glad he was happy and all, but he didn't need to mention the guy every time he opened his mouth.

Karofsky gestured at Kurt with a smug look on his face. That was exactly what he'd been going to say.

"I think there might be a height requirement…" Sam deadpanned in their direction. Kurt glared pointedly at his friend, looking about ready to rip the sweatshirt he'd leant him off of his back. The other boys tried to hide smiles.

"Look, if Hummel wants me to leave, I'd be more than happy to," Karofsky snarled.

"Guys, guys, calm down," Finn pleaded to a room now full of scowls. "We're doing this for Glee club, remember? We need the money for nationals and this might be the easiest way to do it! Do you really want to sell taffy?" The glee boys made no response and Karofsky huffed. Just because Shuester was nice to him one time and he felt bad about Kurt, he'd let them guilt him into this. And now he'd be seen on TV with these losers. God, he'd have to tell his friends the teachers made him do it or something. He could never tell them he'd agreed to this. But there was no point picking fights over it now.

"Let's just stay focused." Finn continued. He'd known when he'd asked Karofsky that it wasn't going to be a good situation, but it was better than no situation. He was desperate. It was lucky that the show had decided to film in a larger town nearby, because he'd never heard of a show filming in Ohio, and it was the break they required. He needed to lead the Glee club to victory and he couldn't do that if they couldn't get to New York. They had to understand that this was for Glee club and they had to drop their grudges. "I mean, we could win up to— Umm…"

"$8,500," Mike finished for him.

"Yeah! And we could really use that!" Finn grinned.

Sam didn't seem too sold on the possibility of winning that amount. "This is a game about being quiet. I doubt we'll be very good at it," he looked around at his teammates and sighed.

"Knock it off! We can do this, easy!" Puck said confidently, putting his so-called "badassness" in gear.

"Well, it better be worth it. I don't want to go through all this nonsense for nothing." Kurt grumbled, still in a sour mood from Sam's first comment. But it was a concern. To participate, they were supposed to be at least 18. If the show found out they were all 16, it wouldn't matter how successful or quiet they were, they would leave with nothing. "If they find out we're…"

The other glee boys shushed him.

"Those fake IDs are solid. _Trust_ me." Puck whispered as Finn looked around like he thought the place might be bugged. "Though I was kicking myself for not putting 18 on yours. I still can't believe they bought that you were 20!"

Kurt glowered at him, but quieted his voice as well. "Well, a lot of 20 year olds look like they're 16. Trust _me_."


	2. The Challenges Begin

Note: If it helps to picture things, the boys sit around a table when the show begins. They're seated like this

Mike Karofsky Finn

Sam Puck Kurt

* * *

They heard the host call out, "I'm Zero Kazama. This is not a game show. _This_ is Silent Library!" The cameraman in the adjacent room gave the signal and the boys walked in one at a time. As they did, the announcer called out

"Meet the players: Finn." The tall boy nodded and grinned at the camera before taking his seat.

"Puck." The man with the mohawk smirked and told the camera to suck it with his tell-all gesture.

"Sam." The bleached-blonde sidled in, quirked an eyebrow and performed a half-wave, half-salute to the camera.

"Kurt." The fashionista smiled at the camera and raised a hand to sweep his hair across his forehead.

"Mike." The dancer waved excitedly and used his hands to make a heart at the lens.

"And David." Hands deep in the pockets of his letterman jacket, he forced himself to grin smugly at the camera. This was the last place he wanted to be. On TV doing stunts with people he was _not_ on friendly terms with. While they laughed at him...

This was going to be awful.

* * *

The filming was different from the show. The boys had to sit there and pal around in silence, the voiceover was to be added in later, but they knew the drill. Puck and Mike were the ones who watched the show obsessively, and they'd given every one a complete rundown, one more thorough than the actual show had given.

They could hear the voiceover in their heads. "Six friends, one team, playing for thousands of dollars in cash. The players draw cards and the one who gets the skull and crossbones must endure an unusual punishment. If he completes the challenge, the team wins money, but if he fails or if his teammates make too much noise, they kiss it goodbye."

Zero glared at the camera, "Round one. Each challenge is worth $300. But remember, silence!" He turned to the contenders, "Begin!"

The boys were nervous, but kept their composure well, only glancing towards Sam at the far end of the table. Sam was the one sitting closest to the box. The box was much like an old fashioned slot machine, with a large lever on the side. Except the boys knew that, when he pulled on it, it would not come up with bars or 7s, but would contain the challenges they had to face.

They dreaded that box, but the more pressing concern was when an intern rushed out and placed the 6 oversized cards in a neat stack at the end of the table. Kurt, who was nearest to them, hesitantly grabbed the pile and started to spread the cards evenly across the surface, the other boys reaching to help. When they had finished, they all turned to Kurt, who nodded.

Hands went flying as everyone tried to grab the right face down card, Mike reaching as far to the opposite side of the table as possible while the others took the one before them. The cards were still face down, and they looked to Finn, who was sitting across from Kurt. They'd designated him as the one to count down.

Using his fingers (whether to hit the point home or to remind himself how to count, his friends didn't know) he mouthed, _'One, two, three!'_

The cards were flipped and…

Kurt groaned while the other boys grinned in relief. Puck clapped him on the back while Kurt buried his head in his hand and waved at Sam to pull the lever and show him his challenge. If he had to be first, he'd like to get it over with quickly.

The box slowly shifted until the words **Bad Knight** appeared. They'd been briefed on the challenges, so they knew what was coming, but the fact that they would get to see it caused chuckles around the table.

Kurt started to put on a clunky costume that was brought out, consisting of a tunic and chainmail, as the voiceover stated, "The contestant must dress as a knight and be knighted by a queen, who will leave him with a special surprise." Kurt pulled the last piece of chainmail over his head, ruining his hair, and kicked himself for agreeing to this. Some part of him had had this irrational hope that he would get to bypass all of these silly stunts. That he would stay on the sidelines and reap the benefits. But his luck had to be quite thin for him to be the first to go.

He reminded himself that this was all for Glee club, that the end result, New York, would be worth it. He kneeled on the floor while the other guys stood off to the side. In most cases, the players would already be laughing due to the costume, but these boys had actually seen Kurt in far stranger things and so remained quiet. That is until the "queen," an old woman in a blue Renaissance style dress and carrying a wooden sword, waltzed into the room and Kurt grimaced. He knew they were supposed to be quiet, but he had to voice this travesty before she got nearer.

"Her shoes don't match the outfit…" he whispered. Karofsky choked back a laugh and Puck covered his mouth, but the others only smiled at how it was just like him to notice something like that.

The woman had shuffled her way before him now and Kurt gulped. She held her weapon grandly and, gently and silently, tapped one shoulder; then the other. Smooth sailing…

But as soon as the wood left his shoulder, the woman crouched down and winded up before repeatedly smacking him with the blunt object. Kurt held his tongue, but the other boys couldn't help but laugh as he tried to wriggle away from the blows. Puck even snorted as the last hit broke the sword in half and the woman, half-surprised, quickly composed herself and marched out of the room.

A flustered Kurt tore off his chain mail helmet and angrily placed a finger over his lips. The boys only grew rowdier at the sight of his ridiculous hair. Kurt noticed the sword's remains on the floor and seriously considered throwing it at them, but refrained and took off the rest of his outfit instead.

But he grabbed the shred of wood anyway. If their laughing caused him to lose this challenge, he had no qualms about using it later.

They seated themselves, Kurt putting the souvenir next to him on the table as a silent warning, and waited for the host's verdict.

"That…was impressive. You win."

Kurt grinned and the New Direction boys stifled cheers. This seemed easy enough.

If only that could last.


	3. Inside Joke

Mike was the next victim. The game was called **Hard Jump Shot** , which sounded simple enough. All he had to do was jump on a trampoline and make a basket. However, the basketball hoop they used was easily set-up in the library, making it kiddy-sized one, about 4 feet tall. Mike, with his over 6-foot frame, eyed the basket warily. He'd crammed enough for the Brainiacs to know the physics for this task when calculating in the trampoline. He could even loosely vary some factors depending on the force of the jump.

The others were utterly stunned, however, when he managed to make the shot. But either he did not think through the ramifications of making it or his calculations were off, because he also flew over the hoop and into a bookshelf. His landing looked rather uncomfortable; the boys (barring Puck, who found it hilarious) could barely laugh at the absurdity of the task he'd performed because they were worried he may have broken his neck! But he jumped up, sore but unscathed.

Luckily enough, the shelves did not collapse in some sort of comedic domino effect, but remained complete solid. So, although the initial crash had been loud, Mike's shout of pain had been drowned out by the force of it and Puck hadn't made enough noise to disqualify them, so they had to give them the cash.

And so it continued. As Mike had done in the last rounds, he leaned far across the table (practically falling into an extremely flustered Karofsky's lap) to grab the card between Kurt and Finn. And, once again, he was greeted with the yellow skull and crossbones. Everyone chuckled at his bad luck while Mike himself threw his hands in the air out of shock and frustration.

Sam pulled the lever and the challenge that arose was **Bad Inflation**. Mike dramatically pretended to smash his head against the table while Karofsky muttered, "That's what you get."

The disembodied voice announced the challenge. "The player must have 3 pool toys inflated around their body until they explode." Mike struggled to put the 3 deflated intertubes around his thin frame, Sam having to help him eventually as they both muttered about how it was much easier when they were blown up. Another guy came over and attached the small hoses to the inflation devices and then they were set.

The inflating began. His friends couldn't help but laugh at the challenge, especially when the topmost tube inflated into the shape of a panda, but they tried to keep it under control. When the tubes started popping, however, it was made extremely difficult. The look on Mike's face and the hisses of pain were incredibly hilarious to Puck, who bit a knuckle in an attempt to stifle himself. But, when all was said and done and the boys gathered around Mike, dumbstruck at the red marks on his abs (which he flashed to the camera for Tina's sake when the show aired), they still ended up winning the round. Kurt later contributed that win to Puck laughing loudest during the pops, when the loudness factor probably didn't count.

But the round wasn't over yet. Although they only aired 3 challenges a round on TV, every group had 5 challenges to go through so they had more chances to win money and so the show had more to choose from if the rounds turned out to be boring. They were on a roll so far, winning $900 already, so they found this would be incredibly beneficial to their cause.

It commenced, the boys getting cocky from their victories. The next card pick went a bit differently. Mike, who seemed to have learned his lesson, went for a card nearer to him, but Sam went for the same. The two tussled over it for a moment, before Mike decided to give it up and let him have it. But, so help him, if he got picked again…

They looked to Finn and flipped their cards.

Mike became immensely pleased with his choice.

When Sam pulled the lever, it was for his own challenge. **Head Ping**.

The other glee boys cracked up immediately and thanked the heavens that the noise didn't count until the challenge started. Kurt and Karofsky were incredibly confused as to why this challenge was so funny.

"The contestant must withstand a barrage of ping pong balls to the face for 20 seconds."

Finn nudged Puck, "Maybe now you'll get your answer from his audition!" Kurt eyed his stepbrother, craving answers, while Sam shoved Puck as he went to take his place between a fake wall, so the balls wouldn't go flying everywhere, and a ping pong table.

The others stood off to the side, half of them already chuckling before the ping pong player entered the room. Sam could only smile nervously as the man stood across from him with a completely straight face. He definitely did not have any qualms about hurting him, and Sam could tell he fully intended to make every shot.

This was going to suck.

With a yell from the host, the game began. And Sam knew from the first ball to hit his cheek that this challenge was not going to be won. Not because he couldn't handle the hits (although it smarted like hell). Nope.

It was because Puck literally collapsed onto to the floor in a fit of laughter.

Sam whipped his head to the side in frustration and saw a furious looking Kurt trying to cover the offending mouth and a shocked Mike trying to do the same, but Puck was rolling and easily fending them off. Finn watched on like he was in a stupor and Karofsky looked on in amusement, laughing along quietly more because it was contagious than because he got the joke.

In the moment it took Sam to take this in, another ball rapped against his cheek.

How could a hollow little ball hurt like that?

The fact that he had to endure this for another 18 seconds while knowing he'd lost was unbearable. "Damnit, Puck!" escaped through gritted teeth.

Puck howled even louder and Karofsky was really starting to crack against his wishes. Now Kurt and Mike were divided, the former still trying to shut up Puck (going so far as to smack him on the back of the head, but to no avail) and making a fair amount of noise in the process while Mike seemed dumbfounded as to what to do with Karofsky besides glare at him, even though he was starting to laugh himself. Finn brought a hand to his face and sighed.

The balls continued to strike Sam.

Right now, he couldn't help feeling an immense hatred for all of them.


	4. Book Drop

"Your effort was valiant…but your teammates were too loud. You lose."

No one was surprised. And everyone threw hard looks at Puck, who simply shrugged, still smiling. He mouthed to Finn, "I counted 24." Finn shook his head with a small smile, but he was too concerned about the money they could have won to really care about the joke.

The boys nearly whooped when the last challenge of the round fell to the bad boy. A task simply named **Book Drop**.

"The contestant must withstand the force of two books falling on his arms by way of guillotine."

"Pfft, easy!" Puck breathed with a smirk.

As much as they needed the money, the boys bitterly hoped it wasn't. Then maybe Puck would learn to control his laughter and things would go more smoothly. Even though they'd won most of the challenges so far, Puck was always the first to laugh and laugh the hardest. That needed to stop.

Like the show had announced, a table was brought in with two guillotine-like contraptions spaced so Puck could easily slide his arms inside each hole comfortably. He did so immediately with a cocky grin. Finn, however, ogled at the books hanging above, which were gigantic and leather-bound. He became convinced that they'd taken Quinn's grandmother's large print Bible. The one that took up half the coffee table, but he wasn't allowed to put drinks on.

They didn't know how the large books were staying up, but the same intern off-screen quietly pointed out the lever which made them fall and motioned for them to decide who got to pull it. Mike immediately pushed Sam toward it with a wink.

Payback.

Sam waited for everyone to back away a bit (it took a tug from Karofsky to budge Finn, who was staring at the books for some reason) before he pulled, but he didn't wait for any signal from Puck. He dropped the volumes without warning.

And big, tough Noah Puckerman let out a howl like no one could believe. Most of the boys actually flinched back in shock before laughing, except for Finn, who rushed forward to lift the books off his friend. Puck responded to his help by pulling his hands out of the guillotines like he'd been scalded. It took his continued cursing and hopping as he stared at his red forearms to instigate a larger surge of laughter, started by Sam and Mike, which took over the entire group. That is, except for Kurt, who simply smiled and muttered something with the word "barbaric" in it.

They returned to the table, still laughing.

When the host announced, "Your lack of success has lead to failure," and discarded the money, most felt the loss had been worth it. Except for Puck, who swore up and down that his yell wasn't from regular pain, oh no, it was because he'd probably broken an arm. Or two.

"Give it a rest, Puckerman," resounded from an annoyed Karofsky. The first round was over, so they got a bit of free time in between where quiet wasn't mandatory. Kurt had taken the chance to run to the bathroom and salvage his hair.

"Yeah. You're fine. But we've watched the show enough for you to know it's about being _quiet_. You can't keep screwing us over like this," Mike chimed in. He was pretty irritated that, as tough as Puck acted and as much football as they played, he'd yelled so loudly at a few books. He'd careened into a book shelf and gotten a few red marks and stayed mostly quiet. Sam had gotten pelted in the face with only a bit of noise. Kurt had been attacked with a wooden sword and no one had heard so much as a peep from him. It was ridiculous that Puck couldn't show any restraint.

Puck was about to say something, but Finn beat him to it.

"Look," he started calmly. He knew the yell had been an accident, but he had a feeling about the bouts of laughter, "I know it's funny and I know you're trying to play along with the show, but we're on a mission here. I don't know what your game is, but I feel like you think this will help your bad boy image or whatever, but please, dude, don't mess around to settle some weird score."

He knew he'd hit somewhere close to the mark when Puck settled down and muttered, "Fine. I get it."

Kurt returned and it wasn't long after that that the host, Zero, walked over to them to brief them on the next round of challenges. He was actually a really friendly guy when they weren't filming, he even offered to take some pictures and videos to e-mail to them, which Mike all too eagerly accepted. However, when it came to the challenges this time around, he simply gave the names and extremely vague descriptions. Making them vague was weird, considering every task could be summed up in a sentence.

He walked back to his place behind the counter, reminding them to act more buddy-buddy for the cameras and to at least pretend to laugh if they didn't find the challenge funny. The phrase, "It's TV! You have to ham it up for the cameras!" caused an annoyed looked from Puck to Finn. After he'd left, Kurt turned to Mike. "Why didn't he tell us more? He explained things better earlier."

Mike shrugged, "I may watch it but I don't know how things work behind the scenes. Maybe they tell you less each round?"

"Or maybe it's so we don't start laughing before they explain the challenges?" Karofsky queried. As much as he hated to admit it, he was getting used to this. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. But maybe that was due to his lack of challenges.

Mike shook his head. "No, no, people do that all the time…"

Unexpectedly, the cameraman cut him off with the typical countdown and the boys fell into silence. They shared a look and nodded.

Time to get serious.


	5. Sticky Situation

"Round two. The challenges are now worth $400. Now pay heed when I say… Silence! Continue."

The cards were shuffled down the table and picked hastily by the contestants. On Finn's signal, they were once again flipped.

This challenge, however, was different.

Instead of one player groaning at his bad luck, Sam raised his arms in silent victory at the green 'SAFE' card before him. The others were dumbstruck. The yellow skull cards were in the majority this time. It was a challenge for five.

It was the first challenge for Finn and Karofsky and they looked especially nervous. They _all_ had to make it through this. If one screwed up, there was no way they could get the $400. Finn was a klutz outside sporting events (and sometimes even then), so working with a group was going to make this more difficult. And Karofsky, although able to deal with them, was still uncomfortable with everyone. If they lost, he had a feeling their animosity towards him would only increase, simply because they already disliked him. It probably wouldn't matter whether it was his fault or not.

Sam gleefully pulled the lever, announcing the challenge **Sticky Situation**. They had no idea what to expect. Zero had mentioned one team challenged, but all he'd said was, "You have to work together to pull away with your prize," which was obvious and didn't tell them anything.

At least that's what they thought.

"Wearing Velcro suits," the voice announced, "the players must separate themselves from one another in 20 seconds."

Mike immediately understood the emphasis on "pull away."

The suits were brought out to the players. An awful, full body, orange and lime green striped affair that Kurt found hideous. Karofsky was nervous that his wouldn't fit, but he squeezed his way into it without complaint, as did they others. Except for Kurt. The others practically had to force it on him. This in itself helped stick them to each other. A few crew members pushed everyone else in place.

All of them were nervous as the cameraman counted down to the start of the clock. How were they possibly going to get unstuck?

"Begin!" Zero shouted.

And a struggle commenced.

The five boys started off in an awkward position. Kurt was trapped in the middle, circled by the others: Karofsky hip to hip on his left, Finn at the front (facing sideways toward Karofsky), Puck to his right (facing outward), and Mike at the back (facing sideways toward Puck). Kurt was immediately crushed as the pairs of Karofsky and Finn as well as Mike and Puck attempted to first free themselves from each other. Puck's one-armed shoving did very little, but Mike somehow managed to pull himself free within the first three seconds. He then got to work trying to pry Puck away from the jumbled mess. Kurt, who'd started counting down slowly in his head (as he could do little else), had reached 12 before Puck was removed. Now, he had space to try to pull away from the two oafs still attached to him.

Finn and Karofsky were having no luck whatsoever on their own. As soon as they would get a bit further apart, a push from Mike and Puck's struggle would nudge Kurt and knock them back together. Now, at the 13 second mark, Puck was pulling at Finn while Mike pulled at Karofsky. Kurt was left on his own to try to pull away, but Finn kept knocking back into him with each erratic tug from Puck. And Karofsky's suit seemed extra sticky and refused to budge from anyone. Even Mike kept getting re-stuck on his sleeves.

Sam, whom the others had almost forgotten about, released a small bark of laughter from his covered mouth. There were scattered glares, but the laugh had been quiet. He'd been quietly laughing the whole time and they'd only noticed then. At least they wouldn't be losing because of the noise.

Sam continued his quiet chuckling as Finn stumbled around. He was practically free from Kurt (Mike had shifted to help him instead, finding Karofsky a lost cause) before he tripped.

He stumbled forward. Luckily, Kurt managed to stand his ground and they ended up pulling apart. Kurt even pulled free from Karofsky with the force of it (as he wondered to himself how he'd possibly managed to stay upright against 2 guys twice his size). However, Finn fell right into Karofsky's chest, almost knocking them to the ground and cementing them further together with their noses almost touching. They quickly turned their heads in opposite directions and started scrambling against each other, trying to get away from such an awkward proximity, but it was working even less than it had before. Mike and Puck groaned. Sam was having a hard time holding in his laughter and there were only about 5 seconds left. There was no way…

But then there was Kurt, vivacious as ever, who hissed, "Stop moving!" a command that the two struggling boys quickly obeyed. He dug his heels into the carpet, arms hitched under Karofsky's armpits where, the others had failed to notice, there were no hooks and loops to catch on. His face screwed itself up with effort (and Karofsky's with surprise) as he pulled as hard as he could without touching his back and getting stuck again. Puck and Mike shared a look before rushing to Finn. With four seconds to go, they each grabbed an arm and pulled as hard as they could. Finn flinched as his arms were pulled the wrong direction, but was eager for any help, no matter how painful.

Sam was laughing harder, but they ignored it. All they heard now was the tell-tale sound of the Velcro pulling apart with a couple seconds to go. They were ecstatic. _Yes! We're actually going to win this!_

And they very well could have, if they'd thought to use the magical essence called balance. However, when they pulled the two apart, it was disastrous. The unyielding forces kept pulling as the two groups snapped away from each other. Mike and Puck realized what was happening and quickly stepped aside, leaving Finn (after his many attempts at it) to fall backwards onto the floor. Sam looked away and leaned against the table in an attempt to control his laughter, but it didn't seem to help. Finn pushed himself up with some effort, as he stuck to the carpet, but he was used to falling on the field, so he was practically immune to it. Kurt wasn't so lucky.

His arms were still pinned under Karofsky's as the two fell backward. After all his hard work, Karofsky's back collided with Kurt's chest and he knew it was over. There was no way he could get unstuck in that final second.

But then, the real weight of the situation hit him.

Or, rather, landed on top of him.

A buzzer sounded (something they hadn't noticed being used before) as the two came crashing down. Kurt yelped in pain, which he found miraculous since the wind had been, not knocked, but ripped out of his lungs. He was incredibly surprised to hear the former bully apologizing profusely and felt them shift as he immediately rolled to his side so he wasn't on top of him. As nice at that was, and even though he knew it wasn't Dave's fault, Kurt couldn't help feeling bitter, as his apologies didn't dull the pain in his back.

"You ok, Kurt?" Puck asked as he rushed over, knowing noise didn't matter about now. Sam joined him quickly enough, once his laughter had subsided.

"Yeah, I'm doing great, Puckerman," Kurt replied sarcastically, but his voice sounded weaker, still lacking oxygen.

Both boys reached out to try to help him up, but Karofsky stopped them with a raised hand. "We're still stuck together, you know."

They looked at one another in confusion, as if trying to size up how well each could pull. "Should I get Mike?" Sam asked. He glanced over to see Mike, already out of his suit, trying to help Finn get his off with what looked like a lot of difficulty.

"I got it," Karofsky responded.

"We'll manage," Kurt said at the same time. He glowered at Puck, "But you better have that outfit off before we do or, so help me, I will tie-dye everything you own."

Puck grinned and nudged Sam, requesting his help in doing what he was told.

Rather than feebly trying to pull away, Karofsky undid his suit (with some difficulty, as the position was odd and he didn't want to move around too much and accidentally punch Kurt in the face or something) and somehow managed to force himself out of it. It made an incredible difference. Trying to pull the suit away was easy when there was no one inside. He peeled it off the other, like it was an accessory on a child's shoe, before offering Kurt his hand.

Kurt sat up, wincing, but he could tell it was only a minor pain. It would pass in a couple minutes, as long as he didn't chance on anything ridiculous in the next round or two. But right now, standing up seemed to be a bit of a hassle, so he let Karofsky pull him to his feet.

"Thanks," Kurt said, proceeding to practically tear off his suit. His movements made his back hurt something fierce, but being seen in this monstrosity was pure torture. It was worth the pain to get it off.

"Ah, don't. Sorry for being a dick earlier. And, ya know, crushing ya," Karofsky mumbled. He'd caused Hummel enough grief in the last year. He may not want to be here, but the last thing he wanted to do was go hurting him again, even on accident.

Kurt half-smiled at the apology. "Just part of the game."

Karofsky looked like he wanted to say something else, but was cut off when Puck yelled, "Hey! Looks like you won't have to go through my gnarly clothes!Hey"

Kurt turned, his back stinging, but managed a weak grin. "Good thing, too! I don't want to think about how long it's been since you washed them! And I hate tie-dye almost as much as that suit. _Almost_."

The boys smiled and laughed at his comment and, even though they'd lost this time, they'd given their all. They couldn't blame each other for that. The sting of Zero's words dampened their spirits a bit, but they had more chances.

They were soon back in position. Kurt started passing out the cards and Karofsky noticed him wincing and trying to keep his back straight. As if he didn't feel guilty enough.

Little did he know that Kurt would shortly make the pain mutual.


	6. Battle of Balance

I'd like to thank everyone who is following and reviewing this story of mine. I really appreciate it. I never thought it would get as many readers as it has. So, seriously, thank you!

That's enough from me, I know what you came for. It continues!

* * *

Before Kurt could retaliate against Karofsky, there was a challenge for Finn. The other boys looked at each other nervously. Finn was part of the reason they'd lost the last challenge and that didn't put them at ease.

The challenge that awaited him was **Wait Wheel**.

The announcer explained, "The player must run on a hamster wheel while carrying a restaurant serving tray with a dish on it for 30 seconds. If he drops anything on the tray or his teammates are too loud, they lose."

Kurt's palm found his forehead. This was the worst thing they could give to Finn, a battle of coordination.

Puck started harassing his friend about not dropping anything as the giant hamster wheel was brought out. Finn tuned him out completely as he wondered how they got these crazy items. Who made this? Plus, how was he supposed to fit inside? He was definitely taller than it was. He'd have to be crouched down. Holding a tray.

 _I can do this if I try hard enough. I know I can,_ he thought, trying to pump himself up.

However, that was before he saw the tray they brought out. And the food on it. Or, more correctly, fruit.

"Who orders a half dozen oranges at a restaurant?!" Kurt asked Puck in an outraged hiss. This wasn't even fair.

Puck shrugged, "The shows for laughs, what do you expect?"

Heart sinking and the game about to start, Finn trudged forward and picked up the tray. He barely made it to the hamster wheel without dropping all of them. Sam casually waltzed over and took the platter from him.

"Get in the wheel first and I'll hand you these. It wouldn't be much of a show if you lost before you even got inside," he grinned

Finn knew he was trying to be encouraging, but Sam's words were far from a confidence booster. He mumbled a thank you and got himself less-than-comfortably into the wheel without it moving too much. Sam handed him the tray. "The force is with you, young Skywalker," he stated in his best James Earl Jones impression. Finn nodded with an awkward smile, having never seen the majority of the Star Wars movies because he always fell asleep, but it sounded more encouraging than what had been said before.

Finn stared at the host, willing him to hurry up and get this started. He didn't know how long he could stand in here before the wheel started moving on its own.

His uncertainty was called for. As soon as Zero voiced the start, the wheel started moving, and not of Finn's volition either. He was lucky enough to fall into step, but the oranges were sliding all over his saucer. They hadn't fallen yet, but an unlucky side effect of their movement was that Finn kept staring at them, as if his eyes would force them to stay on the plate. This unwelcome gesture was to be his literal downfall. As he focused on balancing the fruit, his foot caught between the bars.

It wasn't pretty, but it didn't stop it from being hilarious. Seeing Finn fall out of a giant hamster wheel as he tried to fruitlessly grab the flying oranges (as if that would save his chances at winning), only to completely biff it with his foot still stuck in the wheel a mere 5 seconds into the challenge was endlessly hilarious. Kurt's hand found his mouth as he tried not to mock his stepbrother. The other boys had no such sympathies, guffawing at the sight before them, Puck and Karofsky being the loudest. Oddly enough, the only person who contained his laughter effectively was Sam, who stepped forward in the wake of the crash and helped pull Finn's foot out of the wheel.

"I guess the force wasn't with me," Finn mumbled apologetically.

"It was if you consider the force of gravity," Mike called, grinning. This goaded Finn into smiling sheepishly as Sam pulled him to his feet.

"Good effort, Finn," Kurt said calmly, as if he hadn't taken part in the hysterical laughter of moments past.

"Thanks," Finn responded, forcing a smile.

Puck couldn't even muster the strength to berate his friend's failure, he was laughing so hard, "Oh my God, dude, you should have seen your face! And the way you fricken _catapulted_ out after those oranges! Oh my God!" he cried, breaking into a fresh bout of hysterics.

"Thanks, Puck," Finn mumbled sarcastically.

"Ignore him. We'll get the next one," Kurt assured him, glaring at Karofsky who was laughing and had stepped forward, looking like he was about to say something close to what Puck had. After a quick glance, whatever he'd been about to say decided to remain unsaid.

"I hope so…" Finn replied, oblivious to Kurt's protection of his already damaged ego. This definitely wasn't going according to plan. They'd gone through seven challenges and had only won the first three. They weren't making close to what they could be. What they needed.

They had to get up to speed. And fast.


	7. Karma and Codfish

I'm terrible at naming chapters XD

* * *

Zero's witticism of failure flew right over their heads. Everyone was too busy focusing on getting a win to detract from their run of four losses. The cards were dealt, grabbed, turned and…

It was Karofsky. The remaining five were divided. Some were excited to see the old bully receive some torment, but others shared uncertain looks, as Karofsky was the other half of the reason they had lost the group challenge.

This was not what they needed right now.

Knowing this made Karofsky nervous as well. After the royal screw up and injury of a teammate, his confidence was pretty low. _You just have to focus,_ he told himself, _And at least I'm alone this time. Can't hurt anyone,_ he thought, looking guiltily at Kurt.

Sam pulled the lever with a smile on his face, hoping for something painful. Not just because he'd been the butt of that sort already, but he'd always wanted Karofsky to pay for giving him that black eye earlier in the year.

 **Brief Pull.**

Even though no one had a clue what that meant, they could hazard a guess, and there were snickers around the table.

When the crew brought out a stationary tandem bike, the laughter grew a bit louder.

"What's this? He's supposed to exercise?" Finn asked, not getting what a bike would have to do with pulling.

Mike studied the bicycle. It had two seats, but the back had no pedals, only handle bars. And there was a comically large hook and pulley system above the second seat. When the name of the challenge came back to his mind, he pieced it together. "He has to give himself a wedgie!" he whispered loudly, pointing out the reasons he thought so as Karofsky walked hesitantly toward the bike.

"Then why does it have two seats?" Puck asked. Mike didn't need to explain, however. Their eyebrows raised; they all knew what that meant.

One of _them_ had to do it.

"A team member must pedal a bicycle for 30 seconds, pulling a hook connected to the contestant's briefs," the announcer confirmed.

Karofsky gulped, putting up a hand to hide his face, which was turning pink. How embarrassing! Hopefully his friends didn't watch this show.

"Please tell me you didn't wear tighty-whities!" Puck jeered.

Karofsky turned his face away. "Shut it, Puckerman," he snapped, sitting on the back seat of the bike. He shouldn't have agreed to this. Fuck feeling guilty, this was humiliating! He'd never even doled out a wedgie. He could admit that he'd been a butthole, but he'd never stooped to wedgies or swirlies. They were the worst thing you could do.

Well...besides threaten somebody.

Shit. He couldn't say no.

Puck turned to Finn, who was giving him a stern look. "I was just kidding, dude. He doesn't need to get so pissed."

"I know you guys don't like him, he's not my best friend either, but right now we're a team and we need to work together," Finn hissed sternly to the other boys. They nodded, but it was a begrudging nod on Sam and Puck's end. "Now, who's going to pedal that thing?" he asked his teammates.

Karofsky had heard all of it, Finn wasn't much of a whisperer. He appreciated the defense even if it wasn't solely for his benefit and, upon hearing the question, he called, "Kurt! God knows I deserve it."

The boys, stunned by this unprecedented outburst, all turned gaping faces to Kurt. He shifted uncomfortably. He didn't want to do that. Karofsky had apologized and he'd accepted, he didn't feel the need for any retaliation. In a messed up way, Karofsky had helped him be the happiest he'd ever been since he got Blaine out of the ordeal. Plus his back was still twinging and he would have rather had it be someone else. That was unlikely. There was no way for him to get out of it from the looks on the other guys' faces. Sam was the one who steered him to the bicycle seat. He'd just have to consider it extra exercise.

"This show is ridiculous," Kurt muttered, bracing himself on the handlebars and placing his feet on the pedals.

"Tell me about it," Karofsky answered from behind, gripping the handlebars of the tandem bike. Bracing himself for pain. His thoughts going out of control, wondering if a future employer would find this video years from now and keep him from getting his dream job.

With no warning, Zero called out, "Begin!" A startled Kurt began peddling. He couldn't bring himself to look back, but from the muffled hoots and hollers from the other boys, it seemed like they were getting a good show. And they were. If pants had been out of the equation, Karofsky's black boxer-briefs would have left nothing to the imagination. His face portrayed his discomfort, his cheeks glowing red and his upper teeth digging into his lower lip to cut off any noise. This was the worst kind of karma, but he knew he had to win this one. Even if it was agonizing. Twenty seconds in and everyone could hear a tell-tale ripping. Sam had to clap a hand over his nose to stifle a snort as a large hole ripped under Karofsky's waistband and continued to pull upward. Karofsky inwardly started counting to 10 so he wouldn't be tempted to punch someone when this was over..

For a short moment, Kurt felt an awful sense of satisfaction at the sound. He knew he shouldn't, wedgies were the tantamount form of bullying which he'd luckily never experienced, but he just couldn't help himself after all he'd dealt with. He was happy now, but a few months ago things had been really bad. That didn't up and disappear with an apology. He wondered how bad it looked…

"Holy shit, I think the tops gonna tear off," Finn whispered in horror, as if he'd heard Kurt's thoughts..

The other boys giggled, but held it in as well as they could. Not long after that, the buzzer sounded.

"Your endurance was admirable. You get the cash."

Kurt got off the bike and saw Finn unhooking Karofsky from the pulley. Hopefully he wasn't a fan of those underwear, because sewing was not going to fix that. Kurt looked away quickly. He couldn't help feeling bad for the guy. He really wasn't a part of this at all, he'd only agreed because of Kurt, they all knew that. They'd guilted him into it and he had nothing to gain from it besides cruelty from his friends in Lima. I mean, if anyone deserved it it was Karofsky, but it didn't mean he wanted to be a part of it.

Although he'd been embarrassed on this show too, at least everyone else was with him. Karofsky got treated with derision the majority of the time. After that challenge, it changed a bit. They were thankful for the victory and they knew it was a hard stunt. No one gave him a hard time, the challenge had done that for them. It was like Finn had said, they were in this together, even if they weren't on good terms.

They all went back to the table without a word and Kurt dealt the cards. They didn't fuss with the cards much, but Puck switched his and Sam's cards at the last minute.

They flipped and Puck sent a happy fist in the air while Sam mouthed something at him that wasn't appropriate for TV. Sam put his hand on the lever as he looked away, hiding his face in his other hand like not seeing would stop the challenge from appearing.

"No...way..." Puck whispered in awe. "This is too good. You gotta look, fish lips."

Sam looked at him angrily for the nickname. Not only did he hate it; he hadn't even said it right! When he looked at the others, he noticed everyone had the same look on their face, like they'd been visited by the hand of fate. Kurt pointed silently at the phrase behind him. Sam finally turned.

 **Fish Flakes**.

The censors had to bleep out a completion of alliteration.

"Unbelievable..." Mike voiced quietly as they set out a table and cereal bowl, with a pint of milk and a container of fish food on either side.

Sam bit his lip to stop the expletives from flowing. This was a nightmare. First the ping pong balls, now fish food? It was like the world was trying to punish him for having a mouth.

His friends still remembered Sam's first challenge. Kurt and Mike nodded at him as they positioned themselves on either side of Puck, ready to do what they could to shut him up if necessary, even though he was doing a decent job so far, only smiling like an idiot.

A woman came out in scuba gear. She stood in front of the table and filled the bowl half full of fish food and then poured in the milk. "The contestant must eat an entire bowl of fish flakes with milk in 30 seconds." Sam took his seat. Just smelling the stuff made him want to gag. This was not going to go well…

"Now then," Zero started, "Enjoy your breakfast!"

Sam didn't plan to enjoy it, but he did plan to eat it. He tried, and he kept on trying. The first bite was repulsive. Was fish food supposed to taste like fish? Were fish eating fish? And the flakes felt so...flaky. Ugh. They just slid around his mouth. He couldn't tell if the milk was helping or making it worse.

Finn, Kurt, Karofsky, and Mike had to hold back laughs at the expression he made, but Puck held it together surprisingly well. Watching someone eat wasn't as hilarious as watching them get hit in the face with balls, in his opinion. He'd eaten just as disgusting things on dares. This wasn't a big deal. It was just ironic. Wait, was that the word? Whatever it was, it was funny in that way, but not the laugh out loud way.

Sam tried not to hesitate when he took another bite, but he was already miserable. He reminded himself that this was for Glee club and he had to do this. He gulped down the second bite like it was bile. He couldn't keep going like this, he'd never make it. That settled it. He shoveled in mouthfuls as fast as he could, hoping that maybe if he did it fast he could avoid the taste. It helped a little bit, but the real killer was the time. His stomach lurched (oh God he hoped the fish flakes weren't coming up) when he realized he had half a bowl to eat and 10 seconds to go.

None of his teammates were laughing now. Most of them looked like they might throw up. It was all on him. He couldn't eat any faster than he was.

With 4 seconds left, Sam started coughing.

There was too much food in his mouth, it was starting to go down the wrong tube. He didn't want to choke, this was not something he wanted to explain at a hospital, so he grabbed a garbage can that had been conveniently left by the table and hacked the food into it. He didn't puke, but if you were looking at volume, it seemed like it. Finn and Kurt had to look away. Karofsky tried to hide obvious queasiness and Mike looked ready to perform CPR the second it seemed necessary. As Sam's coughing spell ceased, the buzzer went off.

"It looks like you...are a fish out of water. You lose!"

Sam just gave him a sarcastic thumbs up. That challenge had been impossible.

The others were sympathetic. Mostly.

"Come on, man, I ate dog food mixed with barbeque sauce once, that's got to be worse!" Puck insisted. "Too bad I didn't get that challenge!"

"I wish you'd had it too, buddy," Sam said tiredly. His stomach was starting to hurt from all that rapid eating. And what he'd been rapidly eating. He was not in the mood for Puck's judgment.

If he'd wanted to win that challenge, maybe he shouldn't have taken his card.


	8. A Little Incentive Never Hurt

When the next contestant was picked, the one who'd complained about not having a challenge was given one.

Puck groaned. "Why am I always after Sam?"

"Keep your mouth shut next time," Finn said with a smirk. Puck gave him the evil eye before jerking his head at Sam to pull the lever and get it over with.

 **Fly Catch**.

Noiselessly, a young woman came over and put a laser pointer on the table.

"A friend will point a laser at the contestant while a confused old woman tries to hit the dot with a flyswatter for 30 seconds."

"Dibs!" Finn called, grabbing it immediately. Best friend or not, he'd been upset when Puck laughed so hard during his last challenge and Sam already got to drop the books. No one fought him for it.

Puck went to stand against a wall. He couldn't move to defend himself, he had to stand and wait. Which was stupid, but he figured they didn't want him to outrun the old biddy.

An old woman came in wearing a robe and loafers, flyswatter in hand. She certainly looked confused. She glowered at Puck as if sizing him up. Either that or she was debating if he was a coat rack. Puck glared right back. He respected his elders, but he wasn't going to be polite to this woman no matter what age.

"Begin!"

Startled, Finn almost dropped the pointer, but fumbled it back into his hand and pointed it towards Puck without looking where he shot.

That was a bad idea.

The pointer landed right on his crotch and that woman walloped him there until Finn remembered that, oh yeah, he was the one who needed to move it! Puck muffled his groans and Sam, Mike, and Karofsky snickered, but kept it quiet. They were playing a game after all.

Finn tried to spread the pain instead of containing it to one area and Puck didn't know if he appreciated it or hated him for it, because the woman didn't just go where the spot stayed, she followed it the whole way, and she wasn't playing nice either! It was like when his grandma had too many Mazel Tov Cocktails during Hanukkah and berated him for his hairstyle and lack of manners. Good ol' grandma. At least this lady didn't throw a lit menorah at him like she did to his uncle once.

Puck couldn't help it. It was his old reflexes that made him attempt to dodge. Finn kept pointing though and, surprising the hag could keep up very well. No matter how he moved she followed that lazer whether it be an inch to the left or a foot. There was a point where Finn lost track of Puck because he started moving too much, but that didn't stop the woman. She hit his arms and sides, whatever was closest to where the lazer would be even if it wasn't on him. Puck did his best to stop squirming when he realized it wasn't making a difference. It was really difficult, but after an almost full challenge of movement, he got himself to stand still and grimace without making any noise.

Right as the buzzer sounded, the woman stood stock straight and walked back out the door like she hadn't been thrashing around like a madwoman.

"Your pain will not go unrewarded. You win."

Puck grinned a total, "Of course I won" grin, even though he was internally relieved that moving around hadn't counted against them. The others were annoyed. True, they hadn't lost any challenges because of Puck since Finn told him off, but he certainly wasn't being nice between challenges. His rude and condescending comments were putting them all in a foul mood. But Puck was going to behave like he always did because that was just how he was. He wouldn't get serious unless it was serious. And, they had to face it, nothing about this show was serious. Nothing besides the money, which Puck didn't really consider important. It wasn't his money, it was the Glee club's money. Sure, he wanted to go to Nationals, but for some reason that wasn't enough to make him act like a decent human being.

Finn realized it as they all returned to the table for the standard break between rounds. Puck didn't care. Sure, he wanted his reputation back, and winning challenges helped, but he also wanted to look cool, which was bringing the rest of the team down. And if Puck knocked them down enough, they wouldn't believe they could win. And if they didn't believe they could do it, there was no way they would!

Was there anything he could do to motivate him? Maybe…

"Hey, Mike," Finn started, "How much do you think it costs to get all of us to Nationals?"

Mike looked a bit annoyed, "Just because I'm Asian doesn't mean I do the books. You'd have to ask Mr. Shu."

Finn didn't want to give up on this. "No, that's not what I...I just thought you'd have the best guess."

Mike rolled his eyes, but he relented, "I can't say for sure, but I'd guess something like $4,500, depending on how much Tina needs for costumes and airline prices and all the other expenses."

"Ok, so, I have an idea."

He had everyone's bored attention. "What kind of idea?" Kurt asked, arching a brow.

"So...say we win more than that. I think it'd be fair if we split that, right?"

Puck, Sam, and Karofsky all perked up at this.

"What do you mean? I thought it was all going to the glee club! Even if it's extra, we could use the money for other things in the club room or save it for nationals next year!" Kurt said reproachfully.

"But we're the ones busting our butts for it!" Finn insisted, "And you know Rachel will probably take it and do something 'for the club' that's really for herself and blow whatever is left anyway."

Kurt bit his lip. He hadn't thought about it, but that was a very good point.

"Personally, I'm totally down for Finn's plan," Sam said.

"Sounds good to me too," Puck said eagerly.

Karofsky nodded. Mike shrugged. Kurt sighed.

"Fine," he relented. "But that's only if we get more. Does anyone know how much we've won so far?"

"$1,700," Mike replied instantaneously. He looked down in embarrassment for being so quick about it.

"There's no way!" Karofsky said doubtfully, crossing his arms and shaking his head. They'd never make more that $4,500 the way things were going. Even though they were getting better at the silent part, these challenges were getting rougher. No one could have eaten those fish flakes, even if Puck believed he could. If there were more challenges like that they were sunk.

"Yes there is! We can do this, guys!" Finn smiled hopefully. "We get more for each win now. So if we keep going and win every game, we could leave with- with-" he turned to Mike.

"$6,700" Mike responded sheepishly.

Eyes widened around the table.

"Another $5,000?!" Sam asked with awe.

"We'd have to win every challenge..." Kurt finally asserted, trying to be realistic. Karofsky nodded.

"But what if we could?" Sam piped in hopefully.

"How much would that be a piece?" Puck asked. All eyes were on Mike.

He sighed, as if praying to be swallowed by a black hole for the stereotype he was playing into. "$366.66 repeating."

To the group of teenagers, it wasn't a million dollars, but it was a good deal more than they had.

"We can do this, guys!" Finn said with determination, showing why he was the leading man of the musical group of misfits. Even Karofsky was feeling a bit inspired and he didn't want anything to do with the godforsaken club. "But we have to be quiet."

He looked pointedly at Puck. Puck caught on. "You just want me to shut up, don't you?"

"Yes!" the group chorused.

He shrugged. "Well, hey, if I get paid to do it."

"Are we ready for the last round?" Sam asked with glee.

"Definitely!"


	9. Child's Play (Seesaws and Teddy Bears)

Zero didn't explain anything this time around. Didn't even tell them names. Probably to make it harder for them to hold straight faces. It didn't make much difference, though, they barely remembered what the challenges were when they were told.

Everyone was on edge. Now they all had a bigger reason for winning. Kurt thought it was pretty selfish of them. Yet he couldn't help thinking about how he'd use his own money. Maybe he could see a show in New York! If this all worked out, anyway.

Hopefully this motivator would do something. That's all Finn was hoping for.

"Round three. The money doubles to $800. But I will only say this once…silence! Resume play!"

Once again, the cards were back on the table. Kurt passed them down and there was some light skirmishing over them. Once again, it didn't make much difference…

Everyone but Finn got the yellow skull.

The players were irritated, but they couldn't hold it against him. Maybe he earned it? It depended on the outcome.

Finn counted and Sam pulled the lever.

 **Groin Saw**.

The entire table grimaced and a few shifted uncomfortably. This was going to be very unpleasant, wasn't it?

Two guys brought out a seesaw and departed. Mike believed he saw one of them trying not to laugh. Oh man, if someone who worked there was losing it, that had to mean something.

"The unlucky contestants must be hit in the crotch 3 times by a seesaw while their friend works it."

The "unlucky" ones couldn't help giving Finn pleading looks. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. He certainly didn't want to be the one they resented, and he'd probably get some kind of retaliation, but he didn't have a choice if they wanted to win this. He didn't know if they could forfeit on this show. Even if they could it wasn't an option.

Finn took his place on one side of the seesaw, the side that actually had a handle on it. The other side was flat board. The others fought for position. They figured the front would be the worst and no one wanted to go up there until Sam whispered to Puck, "I thought you were supposed to be tough?" Puck took the bait, regretting it as he took his seat. There weren't any good spots, really, it was going to suck regardless, but he'd be first impact. When no one else rose to the occasion, Kurt sat behind him. Then Mike, Sam, and finally Karofsky (because he did not want to wedge himself between anybody). There wasn't a time limit on this one, only 3 shots, so when Zero shouted for them to begin, Finn hesitated. He internally apologized to everyone, looked away, and sat down hard on his seat.

He was answered with muffled groans, but muffled was the key. He hoped that was quiet enough. He looked up and he saw Puck cringing, but everyone behind him was blocked. Finn couldn't help an exhaled puff of a laugh before doing it again. As he hit their already sore privates, a mildly louder groan was the response. Then, without looking (because just hearing this was enough to make him bite his lip to hold back the laughter), Finn did it immediately after. This time there was some surprised tones mixed in there, but it was a tad quieter than before. Finn huffed out a laugh again and quickly covered his mouth. If the team lost because of him after he hit them in their fun zones, he might as well say goodbye to his own!

As soon as the limit was reached, Karofsky slid off the seesaw, trying to avoid cradling his poor balls while the cameras were rolling. Mike and Sam got off just as quickly, but Sam didn't seem to care about the cameras and Mike started trying to dance the pain away, at least that was what it looked like. Karofsky wondered how splits could help, wouldn't that hurt more? Kurt moved, blank-faced, even though he was just as affected. He was skilled at not letting it show. He'd only made one quiet noise at the last impact, otherwise he'd been silent.

Then there was Puck. Puck's face was flushed in pain, but he was doing his best to pretend that, like Kurt, he was unaffected. He was failing. They looked over at Zero.

"You suffered in silence. You get the money."

There was a fist pumps and excited noises. Puck's celebration was waddling up to Finn and punching him in the nuts, causing him to double over with a surprised yelp. "No 'I' in team," he said quietly. No one heard the comment besides Finn, but they all smirked at the action. They'd all wanted to, but none of them were willing to do it like Puck.

The boys sauntered back to their seats to begin the next challenge. They were sore and hoping against hope that the next challenges wouldn't be as bad.

The cards were passed and flipped. Sam let out a groan of pure anguish. His balls were on fire and he did not want to do this again, but the cards couldn't be switched now. He resumed his habit of not looking at the name as he pulled the lever, not like it would tell him anything anyway since they hadn't gotten any clues. Or it would be like Groin Saw, which sounded like a slightly worse scenario than it was, but still bad. He only glanced up when Puck nudged him.

 **Teddy Bear**.

What the hell.

No one brought anything out. Sam walked hesitantly toward the empty space in the middle of the room.

"For 30 seconds, the contestant must withstand being beaten by a person holding a teddy bear."

Puck snorted at the explanation and Finn quickly shushed him. Sam closed his eyes and exhaled. Of course. Of course he'd get his ass beat with a teddy bear. Why not? Was it filled with rocks too?

The one thing he was grateful for was that it wasn't another stupid jab at his mouth like the other challenges.

He looked up to see a man walking up the passage into the library. Not just any man. This guy looked like a football player or a wrestler, maybe a body builder. He was ripped, buff, all the adjectives there were to describe this beefcake of a man.

And he was holding a small, white teddy bear by the hand. Like a small child.

No one had the nerve to laugh, even when they noticed the teddy bear emblazoned on the crotch of his tight, black shorts. This guy was menacing.

Like a man walking to the gallows, Sam stood and met the large man in the middle of the library. He briefly looked at the man's eyes, but they were so severe that he opted to crush his eyes shut and clench his fists at his sides.

"Begin!"

Sam tried to convince himself that there weren't any rocks inside, but it hurt like there were. Wasn't it supposed to be cotton? Fluff? Feathers? Rose petals? What could you fill a teddy bear with? He tried to focus on such inane questions as he was pummeled. The man wielded the bear in one hand. Puck couldn't help an "OH!" as a sharp hit to Sam's abs sent a button eye soaring towards them, only to be narrowly avoided by Karofsky leaning to his left with a panicked look. The other boys winced at every loud smack the bear made against his skin. Mike was incredibly thankful it wasn't him, because he had a feeling the guy could have flung him across the room with the force of the hits.

Near the end, a hit cut deep into his solar plexus and Sam crouched over in pain as the man continued to pummel his back. Kurt wanted to step in and help, but he knew this was how the game was played and he wasn't sure if there was a penalty for doing such a thing. Surely it couldn't hurt that much, Sam probably wouldn't even bruise, but it looked awful nonetheless.

With one last smack on the back of the head, the man pivoted and exited the room, as if he was the wound up bird on a cuckoo clock.

"Your agony was worthwhile. You passed."

Everyone smiled big smiles. Puck made a quiet whooping noise and Mike punched his fist into the air a few times as he walked to Sam and put an arm around his beaten shoulders. Still bent, Sam gave a thumbs up and whispered, "I can't feel my insides..."

"But was it worth it?" Mike asked.

"No!" Sam responded incredulously, causing some of the other boys to chuckle as he was lead back to the table.


	10. Send in the Clay?

Next time I write a story, I'm sticking with Chapter 1, Chapter 2...because this is getting ridiculous and I have given up on titles XD

* * *

They were back in their seats and incredibly nervous. These challenges seemed to be getting more intense. Or maybe it just felt that way because they'd all gotten hit in the nuts and that was probably the worst thing that could happen to them.

So it could only get better, right?

Kurt would vehemently disagree when he saw the challenge they had lined up for him.

When Kurt got his card and Sam pulled the lever, the challenge to meet him was simply called **Clay Face**.

There was no way this was going to be a relaxing facial.

Soon a chair was wheeled to the middle of the floor. But it wasn't just a chair. It looked like…

Oh dear God.

It looked like a potter's wheel. With a chair glued on top.

A small table, laden with clay, and an artist's stool were brought out and placed next to it. Kurt's stomach dropped as he was motioned by one of the show's staff to go sit in the chair on the wheel.

"The contestant will be spun on a wheel while a potter throws a pot on his head."

His hair. His perfectly positioned hair, already ruffled by a knight helmet and carefully put back into place between challenges, was going to be smothered with clay.

Why was this his challenge? They had to pick someone who actually cared! This game was rigged.

The staff member was waving more frantically. The others were trying not to chuckle, but the background guy and the look on Kurt's face were too much for them to handle. They tried to contain themselves as Kurt stalked to his seat and sat, crossing his arms and glowering at them. Probably to hide the intense misery of the situation.

Not long after he sat, an actor with an artiste motif waltzed in, complete with beret and stringy mustache. Kurt wanted to argue that it was more of a painter's stereotype than that of a potter, but there wouldn't be much of a point. Well, there would be. He wanted to delay the inevitable.

When the man walked out there were fresh giggles from the boys. Kurt looked so utterly disgusted...it was really funny.

Zero shouted for the game to start.

The man pressed the petal and Kurt started to spin.

He shut his eyes as soon as the wheel was put in motion, clutching the arm rests. Spinning rides had never been his forte. He hadn't gone on a ride like that since the tragedy with the Tilt-a-Whirl and his favorite cardigan in 5th grade. This felt about the same.

The others saw it all and it was amazing. Kurt gritted his teeth and the potter slathered clay onto his head, clearly with no intention of making a functional pot. Once the man had moved every bit of clay onto him, he didn't start throwing a pot right away. Kurt squirmed as unwelcome fingers ran through his hair, attempting to embed the clay into his roots.

That was when Kurt realized that a time limit hadn't been announced. How long would this go one for?!

He considered every bad thing that had happened to him in his entire life, debating if this was the worst.

Even if it wasn't, it was close.

After what felt like eternity, the fingers stopped digging into his skull and started to work on the pot. Kurt was starting to get dizzy at this point. He struggled to remember whether closed eyes made dizziness better or worse, but then some clay dripped into his left eye socket and the subject became non-debatable. He wasn't opening his eyes if clay was going to go flying. But if he threw up...

Sam was laughing so hard that he was miraculously silent. Finn was lightly covering his mouth, mostly to hide if Kurt opened his eyes. Kurt would be so pissed if he lost because of them. So much as a smile would probably set him off. Maybe they needed that constant fear to win this game. That's when Finn started secretly hoping Kurt would get the rest of the challenges, the few they had left. They'd definitely win then.

Mike was reaching to cover Puck's mouth out of fear, which Puck resented. He was being quiet enough, he was just hamming it up for the cameras, so he pushed Mike away before he could finish his action and Mike raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. He was doing pretty well keeping it together. This challenge reminded him of many slushie clean ups, so it wasn't striking him as very funny. Karofsky was also unfazed, remembering the same thing with guilt. The scene was all too familiar. He wasn't the one doing it this time, but all the same part of him wanted to stop the thing from turning and apologize.

None of them knew how much time had passed when a very small pot was finally made. The man stopped pushing the wheel and scooped up his creation, leaving a large amount of excess clay on Kurt's head and shirt. Finn knew he loved that shirt, too, that was why he wore it for TV. Hopefully clay washed out well, otherwise Kurt was going to hold a grudge. And he'd certainly hear all about it when they got home.

Mike started toward Sam, who was doubled over as his violent laughter started to produce sound, but he was stifling it himself, which was a relief. He raised his head to catch the guy going out the door, his tiny pot lifted aloft in victory, and a dazed Kurt trying to get out of the seat, only to fall backwards into it again. His entire upper body was splattered gray and Sam had to force himself to look away or he would really lose it.

Puck and Finn made a move to help, but Mike beat them there, leaving Sam to help Kurt stumble his way back to the team, completely turned around and miserable. Karofsky was grateful he did it, he didn't think Kurt would be happy with his help. He couldn't go up there in front of the others anyway. They'd misjudge it somehow. He'd either be threatening or weak and he didn't want to deal with a middle ground with these guys. It would be a lot easier if it was just him and Kurt. Even it it was, he knew he wouldn't have gone up there. He'd be overstepping.

"That...was entertaining. You win."

Entertaining? Kurt was dizzy and queasy. How much trouble would he get in if he threw his bit of sword from his first challenge or a glob of clay at the host?

At least he didn't feel like he was going to literally throw up anymore. His stomach was in knots, but holding up better than it used to. He was a huge mess, though. And his shirt...it was the shirt he'd worn on his first real date with Blaine and now it was completely annihilated. His favorite skinny jeans had splatters too. His hair... Every bit of this was miserable.

It wasn't the last challenge, but a crew member told Kurt he was allowed some time to clean up so he could continue play. Kurt nodded graciously, only one eye open, and quickly asked if they had showers. The woman led him away.

"That was brutal," Mike commented as he walked off set. They'd all been allowed a break since they needed Kurt for the challenges, but having nothing to do, they sat around their table. The others, all having dealt with their fair share of brutal challenges, eyed him scornfully. Mike looked away, as if scolded. "Just...bad memories is all I'm saying. I remember him getting slushie in his eyes before too. I remember getting it in _my_ eyes. It was all I could think of."

None of the other glee guys had thought of that.

"I guess when you put it that way..." Finn started.

"Maybe a bit, yeah, but I have a feeling Kurt was more worried about his hair than anything," Sam responded with conviction, but a small chuckle managed to escape him. Kurt was only weak when it came to his appearance, so he couldn't believe he'd ever get down over past slushie trauma.

"He was a bad one for that. They should've pick me, I couldn't give a damn about my hair." Normally the boys would have found Puck's statement annoying, the whole I-could've-done-better schtick, but he wasn't implying anything like that. After all, Kurt had won them the challenge. He was saying it because he did feel a bit bad for him. And about Sam having to eat fish food and Finn running on hamster wheels and Mike propelling into bookshelves. Even Karofsky's wedgie seemed a bit far, because he remembered being an asshole himself and how he'd wound up locked in a port-a-potty. Although they'd all been hilarious at the time, at the end of the day he didn't want anyone to be unhappy.

The money. The money had to make this worth it.

Well, the laughter was pretty fun too.

"But I'm glad he stuck to his guns. How much do we have now?" he asked, instinctively turning to Mike. But the answer came from his left side.

"$4,100!" Sam said, holding up a little scrap of paper and pencil he must have found in his pockets. "I've been keeping track for you," he said across the table to Mike, who kicked him under the table in return with a small smile.

"That's really good, guys!" Finn said enthusiastically. "That's almost enough for New York already!" This was awesome! They could maybe make it on that if Mr. Shue was tight with the budget or if they sold a few bags of taffy. Whatever they had to do, they were definitely going to make it to Nationals!

There were grins around (most of) the table. They all knew it too.

Karofsky just hoped this would get him out of the doghouse.

"Well let's keep winning so we get some extra cash too!" was Puck's rallying cry. The others cheered.

They settled into various degrees of excitement as they waited for Kurt's return, which only took another 5 minutes. The shortest shower of his entire life. And he had to put his clay-filled clothes back on. He was a presentable wreck and he loathed it.

No one commented on it, fearing a rage.

Once Kurt was seated, gameplay resumed. Cards were brought out once again and this time they chose Karofsky. He was apathetic. Nothing would be worse than his last solo challenge and the reminder carefully tucked into the back of his jeans.

Sam pulled. **Mystery Door**. Very ominous.

Karofsky was to stand in the middle of the room and a prop wall with a door in the center was brought out before him.

"The person must endure whatever is behind the door."

That was as vague as the title. They were certainly intent on keeping it a mystery.

Karofsky braced himself.

Without warning, the door flew open and out streamed…clowns. A handful of clowns. Touting oversized fish, rubber chickens, clown shoes and, the real indicator of what was coming…

They all had pies.

As soon as the clowns were released, Finn took a large step so he was behind Puck. He did not cower, but he wanted some space between them. He was glad this was not his challenge.

Puck noticed what he'd done immediately. "You scared of clowns?" he hissed, an evil grin spreading on his face.

"No, I just don't like them," Finn retorted defensively.

"I knew it," Puck replied, and left it at that. He'd made Finn watch IT when they were still in grade school and Finn got so freaked out afterward that he called his mom to pick him up instead of spending the night. He didn't know if the movie caused it or was just a part, but he knew this would come up again one day and he would be ready. Right now, though, he wanted to watch this.

Sam was already having trouble holding back laughter. The look on Karofsky's face, the wide-eyed horror, it was too funny! And the damn clowns! He'd always gotten a kick out of clowns. Mike nudged him with his elbow. He knew Sam would hate to be the reason they lost 800 bucks.

The clowns were circling Karofsky. He wouldn't have run anyway, but they weren't giving him a chance. They were getting really close and it was making him really uncomfortable.

One of the clowns, who had large tears and a massive frown painted on his face, smiled wide and launched the assault. Karofsky was hit with all they had. A pie hit him square in the face and a rubber chicken crashed into his shoulder. After that first pie, it was hard for him to know what was going on, they were moving fast and he had whipped cream in his eyes. Another pie smacked into his face and, this time, the tin didn't fall. He tried to reach up and move it, even though the cream left him essentially blind regardless, but the continued attacks made it impossible. He pulled himself into a defensive crouch but that was all he could muster.

As he was getting barraged, the other boys had their own problem. One of the clowns had gone rogue and was doing cartwheels and making faces just outside their reach. He probably wasn't supposed to be, it wasn't their challenge, but it seemed he decided on his own to be a true clown and make them laugh.

He was succeeding. Finn was hiding more suspiciously behind Puck and it was cracking him up, even though he tried to stop it. Sam was already on thin ice watching Karofsky, but the clown kept spouting dumb jokes, which were his Kryptonite. "When does it rain money? When there's a _change_ in the weather!"

Mike was trying to shush him, not willing to attempt to cover mouths again, but it wasn't doing much. He tried to make faces, dance, distract the clown, but the clown had a captive audience and he wasn't going to give it up.

"Where do fish keep their money? In a river _bank_!"

Kurt was rolling his eyes and looking sour, hoping to dissuade the clown from continuing. Did he only know money jokes? But the clown ignored him and Sam was already too far gone. The clown was eating it up.

"Where can you always find money? In the dictionary!"

Puck, quick as he could, moved to the side and then behind Finn, pushing him forward. Finn squealed like a small child and scuttled back to his spot, even ducking slightly which did absolutely no good. Puck couldn't help cracking up. It wouldn't be his fault, he knew Sam had secured a loss already. At least he got a little fun out of the deal.

Karofsky heard laughter and it really pissed him off. Was it that funny to see him so humiliated? He was standing his ground as best as he could and the whole thing, as ridiculous as it probably looked, was pretty painful. Yet he was going to lose because they couldn't keep their mouths shut!

Then the clown started doing impressions.

He felt like he was about to implode when the laughter got louder, but the attacks stopped. He heard them shuffling away. The pie tin had fallen a while back, but he still had to wipe the cream out of his eyes to see properly. The rogue clown was the last to leave, throwing a wink at Puck since Sam was doubled over and wouldn't notice. Puck shook his head.

"The crowd was too wild. You lose."

Karofsky gave Sam the evil eye, as he was the only one still trying to stifle giggles and rubbing tears of laughter from his eyes. Puck had been able to hold back besides his short outburst and Finn was cowering behind him, unwilling to look at anybody. Mike and Kurt seemed apologetic and annoyed. None of it, the jokes or the situation, had been funny, it wasn't worth a loss.

"Sorry," Sam choked out, but no one accepted the apology. Karofsky restrained himself as best he could, he wasn't going to pick a fight, and snatched the towel someone handed him to clean up. Apparently this didn't warrant a shower. They took their seats and waited for more cards.

When Sam kept laughing, Karofsky bent around Puck and threw his whipped cream soaked towel at him.

He smirked when he heard the satisfying smack of a semi-wet towel to the face.

That shut him up.


	11. In a Pickle

It was the last challenge of the third round. There were only 2 more challenges left in the game and the boys had to make them count.

If only they could get the next challenge to start!

The cards had been laid out, but Karofsky and Sam kept trading back and forth. Karofsky was mad that Sam cost him the challenge and Sam was upset about the dirty towel he'd thrown in his face. In their utter stupidity, they'd decided the only way to get back at each other was to make the entire team wait for them.

In frustration, Kurt reached across the table as the cards had been traded for the umpteenth time and slapped a hand on the card in front of Karofsky, making him flinch in surprise. Mike took this as a cue and put his own hand on Sam's card, who seemed oblivious. He leaned forward so he could see passed Puck and glare at Sam, who was already reaching to take the card back, even though both were being held down. "Grow." He hissed, then switched to look at Karofsky, "Up."

The teens meekly looked at the cards before them. Kurt removed his hand and sat back in his chair, silently daring Karofsky to try to switch anything. He may not have been the smartest guy in school, but he knew better than to ever cross Kurt Hummel again. When it was clear Sam wasn't going to try anything either, Mike moved his hand as well.

Finn finally counted down.

The next challenge was for 5. **Pickled Choice**.

The staff set out a long table and put jars at the appropriate places. The players sat at their new seats, Sam and Karofsky among them despite their pointless feud. Mike stood off to the side. He was the lucky one.

"Each contestant has 30 seconds to eat a jar full of a pickled item. Begin!"

From the get-go, this was impossible. These were 8 oz mason jars stuffed to the brim. There was no way they could eat everything in 30 seconds.

Not that they weren't going to try.

Puck was lucky enough to get pickles. "Is this kosher?" he hissed to someone behind the scenes. There were a lot of shrugs, but as soon as someone took the initiative and gave a thumbs up, he started chowing down as fast as he could. Kurt had pickled beets. He was less than thrilled, but he wasn't going down without a fight. Karofsky was lucky like Puck. He ended up with pickled herring, which was something his dad always enjoyed and had trained him to like as well. But in 30 seconds? He didn't like them that much…

Finn had pickled carrots, which he didn't know were a thing, and he wasted a good chunk of time staring at them in confusion. Sam got the worst. Pickled pig's feet. He put one in his mouth and almost wished he had the fish flakes back.

Mike saw a lot of disgusted faces and had to crack a smile, but he also imagined himself eating such foods and felt a bit queasy. He tried to ham it up for the cameras. It was very awkward to do it himself, though, especially since his friends were so focused on their disgusting meal that they didn't think to spare him a glance.

"10 more seconds!"

Puck and Karofsky were getting close to finished, but it was a lot of brine to go through and they were both starting to feel nauseous. Finn was about halfway through. Kurt and Sam weren't doing so well. Kurt had eaten a few of the beets and Sam was on his 4th pigs foot, but there was so much fat on them, he didn't know if it was OK for him to be eating them at all.

At the yell, Puck started eating 3 pickles at a time, determined to win. Karofsky was just as determined. He picked up his jar and started _drinking_ the scraps of herring, but needed frequent breaks to prevent spitting it all out. Finn tried to mimic Puck, but the carrots were so crunchy it was impossible for him to do more than one at a time. He didn't like carrots much in the first place and these were gross and even harder to chew. Kurt kept a continuous stream of beet discs going into his mouth like some strange conveyor belt, but they were cut so thin that his jar was more than half full, even after 20 seconds of nonstop chewing. Kurt did his best to go double time. And poor Sam. He'd put pigs foot after pigs foot into his mouth and chewed and chewed and it was like they weren't going anywhere. He couldn't bring himself to up the pace. He was going to lose it for them, he knew it. And he'd wanted to make up for laughing at the last challenge...

The 10 seconds passed with little luck. Sam didn't have to feel guilty. Not a single one of them finished. Puck had his last pickle between his teeth and spit it out when time ended, unable to stomach it. He wouldn't be eating those again for a few months, he could guarantee it. Karofsky had a mouthful left in the jar. Finn had stopped at about the halfway point, trying not to puke. Kurt had plodded on, but he was simply too slow and Sam had only eaten 2 more in that time. He still had chunks in his mouth that he forced down instead of spitting out. Damn his desire to not waste food.

"That challenge...was hard to swallow. You lose."

Mike tried to smile encouragingly, but the others were grouchy. That was 2 in a row they'd lost. It didn't seem like they'd be going home with much extra.

"We still have a shot," Mike insisted as they sat grumpily around the table. "The last challenge is worth $1,000."

"Like we'll win that," Karofsky said moodily, crossing his arms and slouching over the table. A burp escaped him and a bit of brine swelled in the back of his throat, add to that the lingering taste of his pickled feast and he pressed his head against his arms, praying he didn't throw up.

"Not with that attitude," Kurt responded, ignoring his miserable pose. His eyes were mildly watering from eating that terrible food, even though he'd drank some water since.

"Kurt's right," Finn chimed in, talking for the first time since the clowns, but his voice had a queasy note to it. "If we want to win it we have to believe we can."

Sam wasn't saying much, but he was also chugging a bottle of water. He didn't understand how no one else was.

"One and done," Puck added, "It's our last challenge, so we have to give it our all."

Finn grinned, ecstatic that his last minute plan was working and that Puck was trying.

Mike nodded, glad that they were getting excited again. "So we're going to do this?!"

Puck and Finn grinned. Kurt and Sam nodded (as Sam gestured to a crew member for another bottle of water). Karofsky stayed in position, but managed a feeble thumbs up.

They certainly were.


	12. You've Gotta Be Kidding

Ok, guys, this is it! Thank you for bearing with me through this story. I'm sorry I don't quite know how the site works yet, but I really appreciate those who have faved and reviewed my work! Even if you haven't done those things, thank you for reading! I'm very humbled by the amount of views this has, so thank all of you! Hopefully I'll have more stories in the future :)

Enough chitchat, let's get to the conclusion!

* * *

There was a small break before the bonus round. Zero came over, smiling, and congratulated them on being an entertaining group and for winning what they had. "For what it's worth, I hope you win the thousand. But it isn't going to be easy," he said with a trace of warning, lowering his eyebrows.

"We figured as much," Kurt responded stoically.

"But we can do it," Finn said to the table. Kurt nodded, he'd been going to say the same thing, but he'd paused, knowing it would have more effect coming from Finn.

Zero smiled, "I wish you luck! You have a few more minutes to get yourselves pumped up!" He rapped on the table and returned to talk to what may have been a director or producer, they weren't sure how it all worked.

"Ok, guys, this is it!"

"We know that, man, you don't need to keep repeating it," Puck said reproachfully. Finn looked a bit hurt, but Puck gave him a thumbs up. "We got this."

After a few moments of silence, Sam asked, "What do you think it's gonna be?"

"Anything's better than gettin' hit in the nuts," Puck responded, glaring at Finn, who could only shrug, his mood a bit improved at the memory of Puck's pained face, even if he'd gotten hit in return. "So I think it should be fine."

"It is the last round, though..." Mike said anxiously.

"Don't be a buzzkill now," Sam scolded, shoving his crossed arms from across the table. "You were all happy-go-lucky a minute ago."

Mike grinned sheepishly. "Just getting anxious. I'd rather get it done right now."

"I don't like these waiting games either," Karofsky said. He'd grabbed the towel from where Sam had thrown it on the table and found a dry spot to make sure all the whipped cream was gone for sure. He didn't want to risk going to the bathroom and missing the start. He didn't want to be a mess either. Besides, it smelled better than the herring.

"The cameras are starting up again," Kurt noticed. "It won't be long."

"We can do it," Finn insisted. He was repeating again, but no one commented on it, they instead made gestures of agreement.

"$5,100, which is…?" Sam grinned.

Mike caught on fast. "$100 a piece."

The guys were a bit upset by the smaller amount, but it had been expected.

"More than I came here with," Puck said spiritedly. Sam nodded, grinning.

"And enough for Glee club," Mike added happily, encouraging a smile from Kurt. Kurt hadn't thought he'd have a chance to go to New York after the Warblers lost, but unexpectedly going back to McKinley and being a part of the New Directions again, getting that chance back, he would not let it slip.

Karofsky couldn't help smiling at how excited they were all getting.

"We just have to win one more," Sam said eagerly. They couldn't stop repeating themselves, but it was something they needed to stamp into their heads. One more round and the game was over. One more chance to win what they needed.

One more round to figure out if this was all worth it.

As Kurt had said, the cameras were already rolling. They played the part of excited contestants for the final time. Zero took his place.

"Final round. Worth more than the rest. $1,000. And remember the rule…silence! Finish the game!"

As he spoke, the cards were passed. They let them drift across the table. They scuffled over the card stock. Kurt and Mike defended theirs while the other 4 goofed around longer than necessary. They were going to make the best of it while they could.

Once again, the fight had been incredibly unnecessary. The cards were flipped. There were 5 yellow skulls. The one green SAFE card was left to Kurt. There were upset noises around the table. Kurt contained a smile, happy to avoid any more trouble. And at least they wouldn't lose on his account. It was unnaturally hard to make him laugh about such dumb stunts. Not that he hadn't, but never enough to cause a loss.

Sam made no move to pull the lever. Was it nerves? Regret? Excitement? Whatever it was, Mike quickly reached across to pull it for him. Sam looked offended when he did so, but Mike didn't regret it. He loved this show. He'd seen every episode. He'd dreamt of pulling the lever, as lame as it sounded, and he'd been waiting for an excuse to pull the thing all game. He'd wanted to snag that seat, but Sam had entered first and taken the spot. At least he got to pull it once, that was all he'd needed. He was content.

The slots changed, words flew by, and finally slowed to the final challenge.

 **Ball Buster**.

Oh no.

They'd thought they were done with this.

As the contestants uncomfortably sat and waited to see what was to come, 4 staff members carried a pool table into the center of the room. After it was placed, they motioned toward the boys, who shuffled toward the pool table. Puck took one side and the other 4 took corners, leaving the last side free.

"The contestants must place their family jewels on the pool table and each be hit with a billiard ball."

Apparently they were _not_ done with this.

The high schoolers looked at each other with various degrees of embarrassment and displeasure, but silently understood to avoid eye contact as they hoisted their nuts onto the table.

As soon as they'd parked their junk, an attractive woman in a tight, black dress walked out, holding a pool cue and a single 8 ball. She took her place on the open side of the pool table. She smirked at the boys. Finn looked away, embarrassed. Sam smiled sheepishly. Mike and Karofsky were too wary of the upcoming pain to take much interest. Puck gave her a wink.

This was evil.

"Begin!" Zero shouted.

The woman lined up her shot toward Puck, who was trying his best not to look nervous, even though his hands were gripping the side extra tight. At the last moment, she slanted to the right and hit her mark dead on. The ball bounced off the side and ran diagonally into the corner on her right. Sam crumpled to the floor with a small, surprised groan. None of the other boys found it funny, knowing their turn was coming, but Karofsky and Puck let out small chuckles. Even the ever silent Kurt covered his mouth and a puff of laughter. Finn looked at them with disappointment, wondering where the teamwork had gone, but realized that they were still on TV. They had to keep it interesting.

The woman lined up the next ball slanting to the left, no fake outs this time. Karofsky hissed but stayed standing, only hunching slightly to indicate pain. The 3 at the table chuckled along conspiratorially, wondering who was next. Sam was still kneeling on the floor. This woman was an excellent shot.

Next she shot straight forward. Puck expected a fake, looking toward Mike's corner, and he was blindsided. Finn breathed, "Aww man..." as Puck crumpled just like Sam, kneeling with his head down.

Now Finn understood what Mike and Karofsky had said about hating waiting games.

Mike was next. He made an exaggeratedly pained face and fell to his side, cradling himself. None of them were sure how much of it was an act and how much of it was real. They assumed it was mostly real.

The woman licked her lips and chalked the cue. She was certainly drawing things out for her last victim. Finn wanted to fake an injury, collapse to the floor, cry for his mom, whatever would get him out of this. He knew he couldn't. He was the leader and he had to be strong.

And so Finn was the last too fall with a small groan.

Through all of that, even though they'd all got hit in the nuts twice in the span of 20 minutes, none of them had been overly loud. No one had laughed or groaned in excess. They waited for it from their pained positions. The floor was littered with craning necks from all kinds of angles, as they were in too much pain to pick themselves up.

Zero inevitably announced, "You survived the battle…and won the money!"

The boys cheered from where they were, finally finding the momentum to stand up. They high fived, clapped backs, and were generally rambunctious, even as they wobbled on their feet. They'd done it! They'd succeeded in their grand mission to get the Glee club to New York, with money to spare! It had all been worth it, even though it had been more painful than they'd all anticipated. Finn was so proud of his team, at how well he'd gotten them to work together, even though it had taken a promise of money to do so...a victory was still a victory!

Zero came over and congratulated them. He promised that they would receive a check once everything was in order.

The frivolity muted.

"We don't get it right away?" Finn asked, confused. He'd always thought you got cash, or at least a check, as soon as the show ended. Why flash money if they couldn't have it?

Zero laughed a bit. "I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way. We have to do background checks, make sure you are who you say you are, legal stuff. You understand?"

The boys were dumbstruck.

"Yes, of course," Kurt cut in, as he was the only one able to hide his shock at the horrible realization.

Zero nodded. "Thank you for coming in today, I'm sure we can make a great episode out of this! Now all you need to do is go to Jen at the front desk of the studio. Just give her your names and the show name and she'll find your paperwork. After that's filled out, you're all set to go."

"Thank you," Kurt responded. Zero walked back to the cameras and the boys walked into the hallway. They walked by the waiting room and saw a group of girls, probably there for the next recording. They didn't stop until they got to the elevator.

"I didn't know they did background checks!" Puck said angrily before the doors had closed all the way.

"So all of that was for nothing?!" Kurt had held it together in the studio, but now he was furious. He turned on Finn.

That was the worst part of being the leader. If anything went wrong, even if it wasn't his idea, he was the fall guy.

"We...uh...worked together as a team..."

"UGH!" was the collective response.

"Which will really help us in New York. If we can make it through this, we can make it though anything!" He was desperate to put a positive spin on this.

"No extra money!" Puck and Sam lamented, as if they hadn't heard him.

"I won't be on TV..." Mike pouted, thinking of how disappointed Tina would be.

"Thank God," Karofsky muttered. He was grateful, but annoyed too. He'd done this to repay a debt to Kurt and none of it had made a lick of difference.

"No New York," Kurt huffed, pulling at his also ruined shirt.

"Now hold on!" Finn rose masterfully. "We may not get the cash or be on TV, but we will get to New York! I guarantee it."

The elevator door opened and the boys walked to the exit.

"By selling taffy." Puck deadpanned.

"We'll do what it takes!" Finn said fiercely. "And, who knows, maybe we'll still get the money. Maybe their background check isn't very good."

The others looked hopeful, except Kurt, who rolled his eyes, "I doubt it. Let's just get back to McKinley and pretend this never happened."

Finn was dismayed, but hopeful.

There was still a chance.

* * *

Finn was wrong.

He waited by the mailbox every day. Even after they raised the money to go to New York. Up until the day before they took the plane, he hopefully checked it. But there was never any money.

And why would there be?

They were so upset about the possibility of _not_ getting the money that they forgot to fill out the paperwork.

But they still made it to New York.

As a team.


End file.
